When I was a baby, my dad’s eldest brother passed away from a heart attack. It was pretty unexpected and I never realized how much it impacted me growing up. After all, how do you ask questions about someone who was never in your world to begin with?
Any who I graduated college in 2015, and went back to India to visit my family. I was hanging out with my mom’s side when one of their neighbor’s casually asked me “how many kids did your dad’s oldest brother have?” Dumbfounded, I had no idea how to answer her. I was always told my uncle was this brilliant engineer so I figured he was one of those intellectual types that never married. The neighbor was kind and she didn’t push me any further. She genuinely didn’t realize the impact her question had on me. When I tried to ask my dad about it, he cut me off altogether, simply stating he’d tell me when he was ready.
Fast forward to 2018 and we get a call from my late-uncle’s first son. That’s when I got told the truth. My uncle actually completed suicide, he had 2 marriages and 3 kids. The first son was an only child who grew up hating us without even knowing us thanks to his mom. Once he beat cancer as an adult, he realized that he never got the chance to know his true family hence the phone call after remission. To add to that, my dad explained his second marriage was with a Mexican woman and he had two kids with her (bear in mind, my family is SUPER traditional Indian). One boy & one girl. J & L ( For privacy sake, we’re going to stick with those initials).
My uncle’s death was back in 1995, I was a baby when this went down. All my dad would tell me was to not contact them at all, our families went separate ways due to a major disagreement. In fact, the eldest son demanded money from the will left behind despite the fact that he refused to have a relationship with his father. Obviously I don’t trust this guy therefore I had no interest in being apart of clearing his conscious.
Maybe I should’ve just pushed further and asked more questions but honestly I just felt so duped. My dad was definitely leaving out some major details. I felt like if i would’ve asked more questions, I would get a one-sided answer riddled with lies. So I did what any other person would do, I tried to find the other two children on Facebook. Am I being brave or am I being reckless?
To be continued,…
**Part 2 below :)